Many of us have been affected by cheating, whether personally or indirectly. A relative or friend might have concerns about their partner’s faithfulness, or you might be coming to doubt your boyfriend. Romantic interest can come and go, and there are rough patches in the majority of relationships. If you suspect your boyfriend’s having an affair, how can you know for sure?
Technology has Changed the Game
Technology has facilitated contact, making it far easier to cheat, among other things. However, technology also makes it easier to catch someone in the act. For example, you can get the information you need if you can see your boyfriend’s text messages, but it’s rarely that simple. Signs someone may be cheating is a second phone number or email you never knew about. Moreover, if he rushes to pick up his phone when it rings and leaves the room to take the call,or gets fidgety when you get near the phone, are also suspicious behaviors. Likewise, closing tabs on his computer or closing his laptop when you walk into the room or suddenly getting up from the computer could serve as warning signs as well.
However, these are not sure signs of cheating as well. Maybe he’s planning a surprise, or his boss asked him to be on call at home, and he doesn’t want to disturb you.
Intuition
For many women, suspecting that something’s out of the ordinary is often a telltale sign. Yes, your intuition could be wrong, but “hunches” almost always prove right. If something feels wrong, you should watch for other signs.
Your Friends Mention Something’s Off
Your relatives and friends might notice that things don’t seem normal in your relationship and bring it up. Maybe there’s more tension between you two, or you’re arguing more often when you’re in other people’s company. If he’s picking fights or otherwise creating conflict, it might be a projection of his guilt. One of the most common psychological mechanisms cheaters resort to as a means of coping with their guilt is attempting to portray their spouse or partner negatively. To them, this makes cheating feel more acceptable. To create a situation like this, they might try to cultivate an unpleasant atmosphere or provoke arguments.
This isn’t a sure sign of cheating, either. Perhaps, your boyfriend is more on edge around your family and friends, or he’s going through a tough time but doesn’t want to talk about it. If he seems stressed and is always picking fights and this is something out of character, don’t be afraid to bring it up.
What Not to Do
It’s never a good idea to jump to accusations or panic, especially if you don’t have evidence of your boyfriend cheating. There’s often a perfectly reasonable explanation for someone’s weird behavior. People can feel insecure in different situations and withdraw over financial issues, fears of failure, or sex. This type of behavior can make it look as though he’s having an affair. However, early accusations are a bad idea, no matter how you look at it. If he’s not cheating, he might get upset at you. If he is, they’ll give him the opportunity to cover his tracks by coming up with a convincing excuse for his behavior. Knowing you picked up on his behavior, he can learn to conceal it moving forward.
Final Thoughts
Basically, there are two things you can do if you think your boyfriend is cheating on you. One is to start following him and keeping notes on other signs, as well as trying to find evidence, and ultimately, confronting him. Alternatively, you can focus on something else – by focusing on yourself, your friends, your hobbies, and your career. If your boyfriend is cheating, the truth will come out sooner or later, and you may as well invest your time and resources in yourself to avoid future regrets.